Missing
by Enthusiastic Fish
Summary: Very short oneshot. Tim is thinking about those who aren't there anymore.


**A/N:** Tonight, I reread a story written ten years ago by a close friend, channeld. The story, _Backlogged_ was one I had requested. It's only a oneshot, but I recommend that you all read it. channeld (her name was Pam) died just over 5 years ago, and I've missed her dearly. Tonight, as I read the story she wrote for me, one of many, I missed her anew. I took that feeling and decided to write a short oneshot about it. That's all this is. It's set vaguely in the future with vague references to big events that everyone knows about, even me who isn't watching the show anymore. It's the sentiment more than the setting that matters.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own NCIS or its characters.

* * *

 **Missing  
** by Enthusiastic Fish

It had been a long day, full of work as it always was.

But there had been a moment during that day when Tim had stopped right in the middle of the bullpen and looked around. The trappings were much the same as they had been since the first time he'd been here. The walls were still orange. The desks making up the MCRT were still all together, facing each other. The balcony was still up above. The pictures on the wall had changed, but the essentials were the same.

It was the people who were different. So many changes over the years.

And suddenly, Tim was struck with a feeling of grief that he'd not felt before. After the day was over, he walked out of the building and headed for the Anacostia, wanting to be alone with his thoughts for a while.

Names and faces he hadn't thought of in years flashed through his mind. Kate, Michelle Lee, Director Shepard, Director Morrow, Cynthia, Ziva, Tony, and on and on. The names of the people who were gone. Some permanently, some just by having left the job.

The people who weren't there anymore.

Tim was surprised to feel such a pang for them all. It wasn't that he didn't expect to still miss them on occasion, but it was so much stronger than he had ever thought it would be so many years later.

Some day, he would leave this place, too. He would be gone and would anyone be left to miss him? Would his departure, whether through death or retirement, lead to another agent suddenly remembering him and wishing he was back?

Perhaps it was a ridiculous thought. It wasn't as though he didn't know how these things worked.

"Timothy, you're here very late."

Tim turned back and smiled.

"So are you, Ducky. Aren't you retired?"

The old M.E. smiled. "Yes, but there are times when I enjoy returning here, if only to see my old stomping grounds. Best do so while I can."

Tim nodded.

"What about you? Surely, you could leave now."

"Yes. I could. I was going to but..."

"But what?"

"I guess I'm just...missing everyone today."

"Everyone?"

"The ones who are gone. I was in the building, working and then... I looked at Kate's desk...Ziva's desk...and I missed them. And then, I started missing everyone else. I've been feeling it all day. Missing the people who are gone."

Ducky walked over to him and patted him on the back.

"You're a bit young for that kind of reminiscing, I would think."

"I'm not as young as I used to be, Ducky," Tim said, grinning. "Compared to _you_ , maybe."

"Impudent," Ducky said with mock severity.

Tim laughed and then, he sighed.

"I want to ask the stupid question, Ducky," he said.

"What question is that?"

"Why do people have to leave? Why do people have to die? What is it about us as humans that we make these deep connections when we know that it will hurt to lose them?"

"That's not a stupid question, Timothy," Ducky said, kindly. "But let me ask you one in return."

"What?"

"If you had known the pain you would feel from missing them, would you have avoided the friendship you had? Would it be worth it to you to avoid the pain and not have those friendships?"

Tim looked out over the Anacostia again, missing his friends, but then, remembering times when he had been with them and happy. Could he give up those happy memories to escape the pangs he was feeling now?

He smiled at some of the moments he'd had with Kate, the times she'd been there for him, the moments when they'd been on the same wavelength, working together. He thought of the close friendship he'd had with Ziva, the times he'd hung out with her, the moments they'd shared. He thought of the times that Tony had simultaneously driven him crazy and made him laugh. Could he _not_ have those?

He forgot to even answer Ducky's question...but that didn't matter, because he might as well have.

"I can see it in your face, Timothy. You couldn't," Ducky said.

Tim refocused on Ducky and shook his head.

"No. I couldn't."

"Consider this, then, Timothy," Ducky said. "Life has its ups and downs, no matter what you do. It is the people in our lives that gives us the strength to continue through the downs and it is the people in our lives with whom we share the ups that gives us joy. Yes, there is pain and loss, but while some have died, some have moved on, the friendship is still there. True friendship does not end with death. It just changes."

Tim nodded.

"Now, it is too late for you to be standing out here alone. Your wife will be wondering where you are. You should go home and enjoy the present, rather than living in the past."

"Okay, Ducky. I get it."

He started to walk away from the river, but then, he turned back.

"Hey, Ducky."

"Yes, Timothy?"

"Why don't you join me? Make another happy memory?"

Ducky's smile widened.

"Timothy, I would like nothing better."

They left the Yard together.

FINIS!


End file.
